Tuesday, May 16, 2017

And She Was.

And there amongst 

  the chaos of familiarity,

She stood - timeless.


Where my eyes glanced,

  My heart took a second look

And my soul knew. 


 

Inspired by the lens and love of @rebelesotetic

Wednesday, February 15, 2017

Mexicana al Grito

 

Hijo mío, querido 

No te des por vencido 

Esta es una batalla de muchas

Que se ha peleado por siglos

 

Cielo mío

No te avergüences del mar de tu apellido

Del sol de tu cabello castaño, 

De la rica tierra de tu piel morena

De la cultura que corre por tus venas 

 

Hijos míos, adelante

Aunque nos separen

No me arrepiento de lo hecho

De sacarlos adelante

 

Tesoros Míos

Sean valientes 

Únanse a la causa 

Eleven sus voces, peleen

Por el inmigrante, el jornalero, la indígena 


Vidas mías

Que su canto al pueblo despierte 

A las injusticias que se vierten

En el corazón colectivo de nuestra gente 


Hija mía, valiente 

Eleva tu frente

Ardiente fervor,

Sagrado vientre, resiste 

En tus venas, mi sangre 

Guerrera por siempre.

Tuesday, October 11, 2016

Presence.

On the eve of the 18th anniversary of my brother's death, dining with grandma, I wondered: will this be our last supper? Another question I've pondered: is it harder to lose a loved one suddenly and unexpectedly or to watch them wither away slowly? Having experienced the former and currently the latter, I still don't have a definitive answer. They're both difficult to assimilate. 

While grandma remains incarnate, the inevitable nears. Every movement expends her energy tremendously. Laborious breath after laborious breath, lungs, like old balloons with minimal elasticity no longer inflate to previous capacity. No medical knowledge, background or experience can prepare one for witnessing life slowly escaping a loved one. Painful as it is, respecting and accepting reality gives way to resolve. I suppose that is the gift of being able to say goodbye - resolve. 

Last week, following her shower, I sat on the bathroom floor drying her feet.  Though not a particularly religious person, a vague memory of a biblical story: "Jesus washed someone's feet? Was it the other way around? Mhm... no se." Next: Visions, like a movie reel, of patients I've helped similarly flashed before me. Accompanying thoughts circled through my mind, of where those patients might be now? Connecting dot after dot, following decisions and experiences that prepared me .... 

Then she kissed the crown of my head. No words followed, just her cute giggle and a sincere smile. Few moments are humbling and equally empowering - this was one.

I am where I need to be - present. 
 

Monday, February 22, 2016

luna

You're beautiful baby,
Daily I should've told you
Not a day passes 
Without thinking,
Wishing to see you 
Under a new moon.
Night's reflection 
Accentuating your
Glorious curves 
Silhouette  engraved 
In my memory, branded 
My favorite tattoo.





Thursday, February 18, 2016

Color of Her Voice

Sky blue
The color of her voice 
Warm summer rays
Comforting arms
Defrost this heart of mine

How I miss tender lips
Soft tickles down my spine
Ease the overkill, thoughts racing
Trampling through this mind

With one foot out the door
Though she was mine,
I was never hers 
Wrapped up in my head
Pride tore, stole - the one 

Wednesday, January 27, 2016

Comfortable Silence

Silently lying
Toe to toe, your
Ankle cradled in
My concave arch
Right knee 
Resting upon the peak of
My curvy hip
Palm pressed
On the crest of
My back
Fingers nestled 
In the valley of
My waist 
Warm exhale 
Softly tickling 
My elongated neck
Rhythmic inhale
Whispering me
To sleep 
As you 
Melt into me



Tuesday, January 12, 2016

Sorrow.



Mourning the passing of an icon, like many I saturated my senses with all things #Bowie. Went to bed with still a bit of sadness, but rested. Today, as Pandora woke me with Life on Mars there it was - the weight of a broken heart. There is a thing about loss which allows us to relate to one another on a deeper level. I'd venture to say more so than love or success, which we all measure and assimilate differently. But loss is loss. Grief is grief. The loss of a loved one strips you to the bone and rocks you to the core. Ever attended a funeral for a colleague, a distant relative, been there for a friend who lost a loved one, not necessarily someone close to you - yet sitting there, paying respects with an emptiness, filled only with the weight pulling from to the back of your throat, through your chest, into the pit of your stomach, tears well up in your eyes, thoughts flow of a loved one you've lost? That is the weight of a broken heart. Though you ache for the family and friends of the departed, you can't help but remember your own sense of loss. We who mourn the Rock God have his music to comfort us. Today I think of the man and the family who knew him as such and loved him the way we love our own. I thought of my brother. Immediately, The Doors (whom he loved) played and I felt the urge to say: make peace with anyone you have strayed from, especially family. The only thing harder than losing a loved one, is losing them when the relationship is strained. This was the case when my brother passed. We were barely beginning to speak after an argument and it was hi/bye/how's it going... It took me years to forgive myself for not making amends - but really how would I have known he'd be gone in the blink of an eye at such a young age? It took me years to not feel guilty, but even now as I type, I choke up. If I knew then what I know now - I would have put my pride aside, taken him up on the previous offers to climb up on the roof of our parent's home, share a blunt, listen to tunes and stare at the stars. Let bygones be. Make peace with loved ones. Made amends. Don't let time pass. When we least expect those we love are gone. Death: "It's only forever... Not long at all."