Comfortable Silence

Silently lying

Toe to toe, your

Ankle cradled in

My concave arch

Right knee 

Resting upon the peak of

My curvy hip

Palm pressed

On the crest of

My back

Fingers nestled 

In the valley of

My waist 

Warm exhale 

Softly tickling 

My elongated neck

Rhythmic inhale

Whispering me

To sleep 

As you 

Melt into me

Sorrow.

Mourning the passing of an icon, like many I saturated my senses with all things #Bowie. Went to bed with still a bit of sadness, but rested. Today, as Pandora woke me with Life on Mars there it was - the weight of a broken heart. There is a thing about loss which allows us to relate to one another on a deeper level. I'd venture to say more so than love or success, which we all measure and assimilate differently. But loss is loss. Grief is grief. The loss of a loved one strips you to the bone and rocks you to the core. Ever attended a funeral for a colleague, a distant relative, been there for a friend who lost a loved one, not necessarily someone close to you - yet sitting there, paying respects with an emptiness, filled only with the weight pulling from to the back of your throat, through your chest, into the pit of your stomach, tears well up in your eyes, thoughts flow of a loved one you've lost? That is the weight of a broken heart. Though you ache for the family and friends of the departed, you can't help but remember your own sense of loss. We who mourn the Rock God have his music to comfort us. Today I think of the man and the family who knew him as such and loved him the way we love our own. I thought of my brother. Immediately, The Doors (whom he loved) played and I felt the urge to say: make peace with anyone you have strayed from, especially family. The only thing harder than losing a loved one, is losing them when the relationship is strained. This was the case when my brother passed. We were barely beginning to speak after an argument and it was hi/bye/how's it going... It took me years to forgive myself for not making amends - but really how would I have known he'd be gone in the blink of an eye at such a young age? It took me years to not feel guilty, but even now as I type, I choke up. If I knew then what I know now - I would have put my pride aside, taken him up on the previous offers to climb up on the roof of our parent's home, share a blunt, listen to tunes and stare at the stars. Let bygones be. Make peace with loved ones. Made amends. Don't let time pass. When we least expect those we love are gone. Death: "It's only forever... Not long at all."

⚡️

Sitting in the same spot

My bedroom floor

Just a few days ago

Celebrated the life, the genius

Reveled in the magic, new music

Today, listening to the span

Overwhelmed with emotion

Heart torn, mind blown

To the sky - Starman returns

fénix

Didn't need a knight in shining armor,

 not a damsel in distress.

Wasn't on the market to be financed,

 I pick up my own checks.

Didn't require tough love,

 nurtured in a balanced loving home -

 reminded daily of my worth in gold.

With all bases covered,

 didn't need a savior, but an equal.

Mistaken fragments, pieces,

 thought they were my own.

Assumed my wings were broken,

 as you're accustomed to.

I was what you didn't know you needed

 a mirror, catalyst -

For unraveling your truth.

The light, smile in your eyes,

 the love, devotion, butterflies -

 all real, never lies.

It was true love at first sight -

 one that stood the test of time.

Just not meant to forever last -

 it's ok miss, remember, embrace it.

May it's light heal your heart and soul

 as it did mine.